So, its been a long while since I have last posted something. I am sorry about that. Not sure why I haven't wrote, I have tons of things to write about, just haven't really had a lot of time! I have thought of many topics to write about and but nothing ever materialized from it all. What do I want to write about today? Things that have happened over the last few months? Life? Love? Kids? News events? I am not sure, so I am just gonna type whatever hits my mind.
Life is a journey, it is what we make it. Good or bad. We all make decisions that put us where we are. I can go back and lay my decision making out. The things that led me to where I am today, I know exactly how I got to where I am at. It is not a big secrete to me. Of course at the time I could never see where I would be today. I will start by staying that its amazing to see how things work out. I mean, God truly does work in mysterious ways, but sometimes you can go back and see exactly what He was doing to get you to certain points in your life. I feel like telling my story today. Of course somethings are still in the works and I am not sure how they will end up, but some I have figured out and can appreciate what happened.
I am going to start with the end of my senior year of high school. The year 2002. I had many friends, but only a few really good friends. One of them, decided to do somethings behind my back. I will go further, but lets just remember I was a 17yr old girl...a teenager....with teenage feelings. Ok with that being stated lets go further. I had the biggest crush on a guy I worked with. He was a few years older and a college boy. A nice guy, who to my dismay only wanted to be my friend. But my friend and I would hang out with him and his buddies on his breaks at work. We would stop by just to say hi to him. You know...teenage crush things. I was head over heals for a guy who didn't like me the same why. I was slowly realizing that my life would change soon, just due to the fact that I was going to graduate high school and eventually move away for college. One thing I never expected was for my friend to hurt me so bad. This same friend who helped me "stalk" my crush decided he would make a good prom date for her. I had found out that she had begun dating him behind my back. She brought him to prom...while I went stag. Stag, was a loser? I am not sure, a few guys who found out about a week before prom told me they would of asked me, but they assumed I already had a date. Personally, it didn't matter to me...all that did was the dress. Anyway, my other friend and I showed up at prom and we saw them together. I was crushed. She never said anything to me about it. Not once did she say she even liked him. She was always helping me get his attention. She was always encouraging me to take the leap and ask him out myself. I am not sure if I was just blind to her feelings or what. But the hurt I felt propelled my life into fast forward. I decided I wasn't her friend anymore. I made a few hasty decisions that would set up my future.
Once I was screwed over by my friend, I made the decision to move away. I had already planned to go away to college and live with some family. However, my original plan was to move up there in late summer, I sped that up to move away right after graduation. This decision would change my life. Once I moved up with my family I was introduced to a guy. I had seen him a couple times before when visiting my sister. This guy had a smiled I loved, but not really my type. I decided to give it a shot anyway.
It was a fast moving relationship. Going so fast with no signs of stopping. No signs of either one of us wanting to quit. It was love. Love, something I wasn't sure I would ever experience. I had wanted love, but wasn't desperate for it. I wasn't looking for it, especially at this specific time in my life. I wanted to just go out and have fun, be young and careless. But there it was...staring me right in the face. I couldn't help the way my heart was feeling, I tried a few times to slow it all down, give my brain sometime to process this new thing. I couln't, it was there, I couldn't stop. It was like running down a steep hill. You know if you keep picking up speed your going to just eat grass, but if you try to stop you will eat it too...so you just try to maintain your speed and hope for the best. I decided that would be my plan of action. I was now 18 and in love. By the time college rolled around I was engaged. Very quick, but very real for me. Nothing could change the way I felt about this man. He was my new life. A life I threw my whole being into. One that I didn't imagine for myself, but one I wouldn't change.
I am going to stop now....I will continue next time....so please stay tuned!
